20th April,2004.
Me and my brother were sitting around watching tv and then my parents came back from a 'visit'. They said 'Hi' to both of us and we looked back and smiled. They had a suspicious smirk on their face. Looked closely, and a head popped out of mum's hand, a head so small you had to squint to see it really! And 5 seconds later, it hit us!
OH MY GOD! That's a puppy!!
I can swear my life on that there hadn't been a moment like that in my life. He was so tiny,so small. He fit on my palm. That small! In the first 5 minutes of having him in the house, we had already started planning as to how we're gonna change the place, make it suitable for him. For Casper!
I remember barely sleeping that night out of worry that I'd get up in the morning, forget we had a dog, and step on him accidentally.
But the coming morning was one of a kind. Got up to him licking my face, nudging me...trying to jump over me. What a day that was.
Brown! Shiny fur! Naughty eyes! He barked like a little girl then. I told him that so often - "Stop crying like a little girl Casper! And fight like a boy for that chewey"!
What Casper and I had, was beyond anything I had ever felt before. I kept telling mom, "Let me be his mother! You be his grandmother" ! I felt for him like I would for my child maybe. Or more than I could ever feel for a human baby! He, I say with all my heart, will hold the position of my first born. Forever!
I miss him! I don't know what I am going to do without him! But one thing I do know! As much as I love him, I am never going to forgive him for dying on me like he did early that morning! I will not forgive him for not fighting hard enough! And I, for one, can't wait to meet him on the other side to wack him on the bum and tell him just that!
In the 21 years that I have lived, noone I have truly loved has died. I hadn't felt the pain before. But the first time I did have to come face to face with the pain was when the one person I loved more than anything in this world, more than my parents, my siblings, my friends, my life was taken away from me!
Those 8 hours of that day will be hours I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy!
With him, a part of me died. It's safe to say life won't be the same anymore! I won't be the same anymore!
The past 9 years have been all about him. I don't remember life before that. So all this is new to me. And for the record, I hate my new life!
Whoever said - "It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all" obviously didn't experience loss!
I miss touching him. I miss the feel of his fur in my hand. I miss kissing him on the cheek! I miss troubling him so much that he'd wine like a little girl. I miss him coming running to me at the sound of a crinkling wrapper. I miss him turning all NINJA on y brother every time we'd have a fight. I just.... miss him!
"I still remember the heartache like
I'd never felt before,
With every hour that passes by
I miss you more and more,
It feels like only yesterday
I watched the stars so bright,
And a part of me died with you
On that cold and lonely night.
Now things can never be the dame
A void so deep and wide,
An empty space that can't be filled
The loss I bear inside,
Still haunts me like the bitter wind
That chills me with its spite,
And a part of me died with you
On that cold and lonely night.
How cruel to me the hand of fate
That took my love away,
And left me here to weep alone
Where age and years decay,
Your image shall not weary though
A swan cut down in flight,
And a part of me died with you
On that cold and lonely night."
-Andrew Blakemore
Me and my brother were sitting around watching tv and then my parents came back from a 'visit'. They said 'Hi' to both of us and we looked back and smiled. They had a suspicious smirk on their face. Looked closely, and a head popped out of mum's hand, a head so small you had to squint to see it really! And 5 seconds later, it hit us!
OH MY GOD! That's a puppy!!
I can swear my life on that there hadn't been a moment like that in my life. He was so tiny,so small. He fit on my palm. That small! In the first 5 minutes of having him in the house, we had already started planning as to how we're gonna change the place, make it suitable for him. For Casper!
I remember barely sleeping that night out of worry that I'd get up in the morning, forget we had a dog, and step on him accidentally.
But the coming morning was one of a kind. Got up to him licking my face, nudging me...trying to jump over me. What a day that was.
Brown! Shiny fur! Naughty eyes! He barked like a little girl then. I told him that so often - "Stop crying like a little girl Casper! And fight like a boy for that chewey"!
What Casper and I had, was beyond anything I had ever felt before. I kept telling mom, "Let me be his mother! You be his grandmother" ! I felt for him like I would for my child maybe. Or more than I could ever feel for a human baby! He, I say with all my heart, will hold the position of my first born. Forever!
I miss him! I don't know what I am going to do without him! But one thing I do know! As much as I love him, I am never going to forgive him for dying on me like he did early that morning! I will not forgive him for not fighting hard enough! And I, for one, can't wait to meet him on the other side to wack him on the bum and tell him just that!
In the 21 years that I have lived, noone I have truly loved has died. I hadn't felt the pain before. But the first time I did have to come face to face with the pain was when the one person I loved more than anything in this world, more than my parents, my siblings, my friends, my life was taken away from me!
Those 8 hours of that day will be hours I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy!
With him, a part of me died. It's safe to say life won't be the same anymore! I won't be the same anymore!
The past 9 years have been all about him. I don't remember life before that. So all this is new to me. And for the record, I hate my new life!
Whoever said - "It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all" obviously didn't experience loss!
I miss touching him. I miss the feel of his fur in my hand. I miss kissing him on the cheek! I miss troubling him so much that he'd wine like a little girl. I miss him coming running to me at the sound of a crinkling wrapper. I miss him turning all NINJA on y brother every time we'd have a fight. I just.... miss him!
"I still remember the heartache like
I'd never felt before,
With every hour that passes by
I miss you more and more,
It feels like only yesterday
I watched the stars so bright,
And a part of me died with you
On that cold and lonely night.
Now things can never be the dame
A void so deep and wide,
An empty space that can't be filled
The loss I bear inside,
Still haunts me like the bitter wind
That chills me with its spite,
And a part of me died with you
On that cold and lonely night.
How cruel to me the hand of fate
That took my love away,
And left me here to weep alone
Where age and years decay,
Your image shall not weary though
A swan cut down in flight,
And a part of me died with you
On that cold and lonely night."
-Andrew Blakemore
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