Note to Self : FIGHT!

I don't know her name , I don't know what she looks like but one thing I am certain about is that she, for the fighter she is (was), has as a person and more importantly as a girl made me more brave. Yes! Thousands of people are out on the street protesting but when the time comes the only and I stress on the word only, the ONLY person you can count on to stand up for you is your own self. We are known to be excellent spectators. Counting on someone else for help will only be foolish on our part. And as girls it's high time we put our foot down and beat the crap out of every single man who thinks we are objects meant to be exploited. If a guy tries to feel you up in a crowded bus, scream, shout at him. Keeping quiet and feeling embarrassed is only going to encourage them and instill more confidence in them to take their disgraceful behaviour to the next level.

Nirbhaya , Ragini, Damini - call her whatever but that brave fighter of a girl will forever and always be a survivor in my heart! She might have succumbed to her injuries but if you know the extent  to which she her body was damaged, traumatized, you'd realize that the insane fight she put up for 12 days was miraculous even for the almighty's standards. I started off thinking maybe it's better if her suffering ends and she goes to a place above and beyond the mortal world where life is more fair. But then she told her mother "Please. I want to live". That boggled my mind. The tremendous pain she was in didn't shatter her hopes for a better life, for justice. The first thing she did was ask about her friend who was attacked trying to save her. Not only was she brave but a zillion times more human than those monsters who left no stone unturned to crush her.

When my dad says come back before dark (and mind you, before dark is like 6:30pm), I can not argue anymore. On what grounds do I defend the world outside. Every time I see a stranger, or a group of men on the road, my hand automatically folds into a fist and my mind starts to stratergize possible self-defense techniques and escapes. How is it fair that I or any girl for that matter go through that? Every day in my life, every time I am out in the evening, why do my parents have to be worried for my life? This is not the life any girl 'signed up' for.

As a person I am a believer, I believe in things. But that part of me is slowly dying. I am becoming more skeptical, more cynical and I hate that I have to change myself and my life just because someone out there might just crush me, destroy me, maybe even kill me. Survival of the fittest is clearly the punchline of the world we live in and I pledge to stand up stronger than ever to anyone who tries to exploit me. Nirbhaya's death will not go in vain and nor will the suffering of the several other victims of this heinous crime. I will scream. I will shout. I will hurt. I will KILL anyone who crosses the line and line, my friend, is awfully clear now.

As for her the brave-heart who passed away this morning, well I can only hope and pray that justice is served to you. I wish life was a movie and only the bad guys died. But just when you start dreaming of a better world, life smacks you in the face with a reality check.

If that girl put up a miraculous fight and didn't survive life, the only hope is that those men and the likes out in the world don't have a shot at surviving the world for the cowards they are.

" One short sleep past, we wake eternally,

And death shall be no more; Death, thou shalt die! "

- John Donne

RAHUL ..... Naam Toh Suna Hoga!!

Getting too attached to people and other things has been my biggest weakness - a weakness I find almost impossible to overcome.

The 9th of March, 2012 will be a day that will stay with me forever. In a good way? Not really. Over the past few years I have grown very fond of Indian cricket. Anyone who knows me for a very long time has most certainly seen this transition in my life from being a 'forced' cricket aviewer to being a die-hard cricket fan.

During the late 90s and the early 2000s when I had no choice but to watch the game (like almost every Indian family, I have a dad and a brother who would book the t.v almost two weeks in advance to watch India play a match, especially against Pakistan) , I'd simply sit and admire the cricketers. At the point, Ajay Jadeja was my biggest crush.

Coming back to the 9th of March of this year i.e. today, Rahul Dravid announced his retirement from domestic as well as international cricket. This news, as expected as it might have been, came as a shock to me. I remember coming across a tweet by Anand Mahindra when the legendary Dev Anand passed away. It read "As long as Dev Anand was alive, I thought I would live forever too." I have somewhat the same feelings regarding Dravid's retirement. I didn't think retirement as a concept was a possibility with Dravid. I thought he'll play as long as the game existed. Clearly, I was wrong.

I have grown up watching  Rahul Dravid, Sachin Tendulkar and Saurav Ganguly play every match like it was the most important match of their lives. I have been in awe of the three of them for ever since I can remember. Dravid's decision to retire broke my heart.

Yes! I am a huge Tendulkar fan but with Dravid, it was always beyond just being a fan. In 2004, at the Multan test that India played against Pakistan, Dravid (filling in as captain for Ganguly who was injured) decided to declare the first innings at a time when Tendulkar was at 194 not out. Not many would have the courage to do that. But Dravid, without any qualms, decided to put the team before any individual player, be it the master blaster himself.

He has forever and always been 'the wall' for the Indian team to lean on in times of trouble. The reliable , and a favourite amongst cricketers from most international sides as well, Dravid has been a stupendous player of the game. You don't need to love cricket to know what he meant to the game. In times when International cricket has been under the scanner with several cases of spot-fixing coming to light, aspiring cricketers can only take solace in the un-corrupted ways of the likes of Dravid.

Ever heard of cricket being referred to as a 'Gentleman's Game' ? Well , Dravid is the gentleman they are talking about. He personifies this image of the game. Jammy, as he is so lovingly called, is rightfully the Mr.Dependable that his contemporaries consider him to be.  As Javagal Srinath said,
              " Whenever I felt our team was in trouble, the only person I could think of to pull us out of it,was Rahul."

I, like many others, believe that had Dravid not been a part of the Tendulkar era , he would have shone like no other. Having said that, Dravid did manage to hold his own and make his mark in an era where no one could look past Sachin. In fact Sachin too went on to say," there can never ever be another Dravid. Never." I couldn't agree more.

When he decided to step down as the captain of the Indian team in 2007 post the world-cup , the headline on ndtv read - "DRAVID QUITS". I can't even begin to explain how my heart stopped that moment. I thought he had quit the game. It took a lot of explaining on the part of my dad for making me understand that he was not giving up the game but only his captaincy. At the time, I thought it was absolutely uncalled for. I didn't want him to step down. But it didn't take long before I understood that he was doing this for the team, for the country. It only made me swell with pride for being a Dravid supporter.

You don't need to know anyone personally to realize how grounded they are.  Sunil Gavaskar said in an interview that the respect Dravid recieves from every member of his team and every cricket lover is out of the fact that he is so grounded in real life. Gavaskar went on to say how he was glad Dravid showed the Sri Lankan and Australian team as much respect as to wait for the series to conclude before announcing his retirement. He didn't want to take away from their game even after India's exit from the tri-series a few days back. They don't make men like him anymore. They just can't.

Ajay Jadeja said,

              "I have learnt more about cricket and life from Rahul than I have learnt from cricket. He is indeed the best student of the game. He is an institution, one to cherish forever." 

What made me most proud were comments by some ofthe  legends of the game on what makes Dravid one of the best cricketers in the world.

Brett Lee : "If you can't get along with Rahul Dravid, you are really struggling in life."


Brian Lara : " If I have to name anyone to bat for my life, it’ll be  Rahul Dravid."


Shane Watson: " He’s probably the nicest guy – no, he is the nicest guy – that I’ve met in cricket. He’s a phenomenal man."


Sunil Gavaskar : "The fastest of deliveries is played as if it's done every day and with minimum fuss. That is Rahul Dravid for you."


Christopher Martin-Jenkins: "If a Martian were to land on earth now and be told that the best batsman in the world was playing in this match, he would think it was Rahul Dravid and not Sachin Tendulkar."

There can never be enough to say about the man. He isn't worth cricket, cricket is worth him.
Yes.. I am absolutely heartbroken and sad beyond words about his retirement. Emptiness surrounds the game. Dravid has left a void in the Indian team that can never be filled , not in a lifetime.

I don't think my saying anything will make a difference. But if it did, I'd say just one thing-

Don't leave Dravid ! Don't leave!